I need help. I have no motivation. How do you find it? It’s not because I’m pregnant, cause this has been an issue for much longer than that. I am just the kind of person who can sit and do nothing for hours, and not really even feel bad. What I’m speaking of mainly, is cleaning my house, and doing paper work for Rob’s business. I hate cleaning my house and I put it off and off until I know it has to be done. It never takes me very long to vacuum, or clean the bathroom, or mop the floor, but why do I dread it so much. I’ll make up any excuse I can to not do it and I really don’t care either. Most people I know clean their house once a week. Not me. If my floor hasn’t been vacuumed in 2 weeks…oh well. I’ll get to it eventually. I didn’t grow up this way either. My mom has always kept a very clean house. As a kid, we always had our Saturday chores that we had to do, in addition to doing the dishes, keeping our rooms clean (which I didn’t), and other things. Its not that I don’t want a clean house, cause I do. I know a part of it is that my house is pretty small, and very full. I hate clutter and yet there is always something, everywhere. For example, we built a shelf for our microwave to get it off the dishwasher so that I would have that space for cooking etc. Well, since the day it was moved, there has been nothing but a collection of papers on it, among other things. I’ve already gotten rid of any piece of furniture I can to make more room where I can. I’m also a big pack rat, which I have worked on big time in the last few years. I barely keep anything anymore because I know I don’t have room for it. I go through my kitchen cupboards and if I haven’t used it for a few months, it gets moved out. I’ve stopped being in the mind frame that ‘someday I might need it, and then I’ll be glad I have it’. My new motto is ‘if and when I need it, I’ll buy it’.
I have it in the back of my head that once we build our new house, it’ll all be different. I’ll have more space and I’ll want to keep my new house clean. I really truly believe this to be true. I just really don’t like the house I live in now, and therefore don’t really care how it looks. It’s horrible. How can I fix this?
Rob started his own business a few months ago. I need to get the books in order, to make it easier when it comes time to do the GST and PST returns every month. But I haven’t done it. And I know that the longer I wait, the messier it’ll be and the longer it’ll take me. It would be so much simpler if I had it all at home to work on when I wanted. But it’s all in his office, which means I need to find a sitter for Caden, and go there just to do that. I’m gonna have to get in gear. With summer coming, I know I’ll want to spend as little time as possible doing paper work. But where’s the motivation. Grrrr. Does anyone else have a problem like I do? I would just so much rather do nothing. In the last few weeks I will nap during one of Cadens nap because I’ve been exhausted. Then during the other one I like to read, or watch t.v. or do anything but clean the house. I need to give myself a kick in the pants and get on it.
Oh to have a maid and a secretary for my husband.